Full Confidence

“General Flynn does enjoy the full confidence of the president,” Kellyanne Conway said on MSNBC. Senior White House sources told Newsmax that President Trump has full confidence in Chief of Staff Reince Priebus and the job he is doing. Trump “has full confidence in his Supreme Court nominee,” according to Fox News. The life of … Continue reading Full Confidence

What I Meant to Say

In early February 2017, Counselor to the President of the United States, Kellyanne Conway made reference to the nonexistent “Bowling Green Massacre” in three separate interviews. She later said, “I regretted it tremendously. I felt really badly about that and I apologized and I rectified.” She added, however, that she was happy to have raised … Continue reading What I Meant to Say

RULES FOR DADS

A friend of mine, whose wife had planned an evening on the town awhile back, mentioned to me that he was going to have to “babysit” the night she was out.  Another Mom friend of ours, having overheard, rolled her eyes–“it’s not called “babysitting” when it’s your own kid, you asshole–it’s called ‘parenting’.”  I could … Continue reading RULES FOR DADS

SNORING IS FOR ASSHOLES

Asleep in bed the other night at 3am, my amazing and compassionate wife straight up open-fist slapped me in the forehead with a SMACK you probably heard.  I screamed and sat bolt upright Hollywood movie-style, expecting to discover nothing short of a full-on SWAT team-like home invasion in-progress. But Evie just mumbled, “roll over,” and dozed right back off. This … Continue reading SNORING IS FOR ASSHOLES

DRESS CODE

Choosing what to wear as an adult lost its luster for me somewhere around the winter of 1997. While I can’t quite point you to an exact demarkation, I’m pretty sure the specific moment in time I gave up lives somewhere between when I quit my one and only real corporate job and the last time my erstwhile girlfriend … Continue reading DRESS CODE

PERSPECTIVE

Flying out of LAX at sunrise typically takes you straight over the Pacific Ocean before slowly angling back towards your final destination (unless this happens to be Hawaii or China, in which case eat me you lucky bastard have fun, and enjoy the duck foot soup rewarding cultural experience). As you quickly ascend to a … Continue reading PERSPECTIVE

NIGHT FEVER

I’m not sure what your house looks like at 3am, but it’s probably something like this: quiet, dark, and everyone sleeping in their own beds. If this describes you, I hate you I am jealous. Because around here, it’s like Chernobyl. Granted in the past going-on-two-and-half-years since Atticus was born, we’ve had one or two … Continue reading NIGHT FEVER